writing
Notes on Psycho-Cybernetics
Core Idea
People tend to act consistently with their self-image.
- If a student believes they cannot learn something, successfully learning it would contradict their belief about themselves.
- People generally behave in ways consistent with the identity they hold.
- However, the self-image can be changed.
Example:
- A "straight F" student became a straight A student at Columbia after changing their belief about themselves.
Plastic Surgery and Self-Image
Plastic surgery sometimes changes people's self-image, but not always.
When it works
- A perceived flaw causes someone to lose confidence.
- When the flaw is corrected, confidence returns.
- Often the ego was more damaged than the physical appearance.
When it doesn't work
Some people still perceive the flaw even after it is gone.
Example rationalizations:
- "Of course, I can see that the hump is gone—but my nose still looks the same."
- "The scar may not show anymore, but it's still there."
In these cases, the mental image remains unchanged, so behavior and feelings remain unchanged.
Additional observation
- Some scars can actually become sources of pride.
Imaginary Ugliness
If unhappiness were caused purely by physical appearance, then most "normal-looking" people would be happy.
However:
- Many people suffer from "imaginary ugliness."
- Studies suggested that up to 90% of college co-ed students felt physically inadequate in some way.
People react as if a scar exists, even when the scar is purely psychological.
This mental scar can be just as debilitating as a real one.
Living Requires an Acceptable Self-Image
To truly live a satisfying life:
You must have an adequate and realistic self-image that you can live with.
The discovery and formation of one's self-image becomes a determining factor in behavior and satisfaction in life.
The "Subconscious Mind"
The book reframes the subconscious mind.
It is not a separate mind, but a goal-striving mechanism.
Characteristics:
- Operates automatically.
- Works to achieve whatever goal is set for it.
- The goal may lead toward success or failure depending on what is programmed.
The key point:
The goal of this mechanism is the self-image.
It requires a clear objective to work toward.
Mental Images as Goals
The creative mechanism operates on mental images.
The goals that our creative mechanism seeks to achieve are mental images or pictures created through imagination.
These images become targets for behavior and action.
Self-Image Defines Possibility
Self-image determines what feels possible.
It sets the boundaries of:
"The area of the possible."
People rarely achieve beyond the limits they believe about themselves.
A Self-Image Without Ego
One suggestion is to form a self-image based on inner alignment rather than comparison.
Example:
Instead of:
- Defining yourself as "good at something"
Define yourself as:
- Living authentically
- Being egoless
- Acting according to your own values
Why this works:
- Skill-based identities can be threatened by others who are better.
- But an identity based on being in harmony with yourself and the world cannot be threatened.
Key distinction:
It is about who you are, not who you compare yourself to.
Two Steps for Change
- Develop an adequate and realistic self-image
- Use your creative mechanism to achieve success and happiness through specific goals